Song: Nobody Can Tell Me
“Nobody Can Tell Me (TDOR),” song info for the tenth track of Ilona Tipp’s 2018 album “Unadorned”
"Nobody Can Tell Me (TDOR)"
Ilona Tipp, vocals / Jacob Hiser, piano
I wrote "Nobody Can Tell Me" in the fall of 2017 for the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), and specifically for the TDOR service in Exeter, NH coordinated by local authors (and trans heroes) Lisa Bunker and Alex Myers.
I wanted to write a song that supported any individual's freedom to express their own personal identity. I hope this is something to which everyone can relate - we have all struggled with figuring out exactly who we are and what makes us individuals in this world - but I wrote it specifically in support of all my trans* friends and loved ones, who often face such obstacles and difficulty in the most basic aspects of daily life.
I am a cisgender woman. I identify as queer, and I have at times in my life presented as gender non-conforming, and though I do not claim this identity, I have been perceived as such. When I chose not to present my gender identity as far on the "feminine" spectrum as I might do so currently, I have been accused of being in the wrong bathroom. I have had rocks and bottles thrown at me for shaving my head but not my legs. The level of hatred that can be directed at anyone who doesn't conform to society's standards can be staggering, and for transgender individuals, especially trans* people of color, it can be fatal.
In writing this song, I did not seek to appropriate a transgender identity or misrepresent who I am; I sought to sing from the perspective of an irrepressible spirit. I hope it resonates with anyone who has struggled to express their true identity.
More resources:
Gay and Lesbian Advocates And Defenders TDOR info
Seacoast online article on the 2017 Exeter TDOR service (although I was misquoted and my lyrics were incorrectly quoted)
Transgender Day of Remembrance on Wikipedia
My amazing spouse Alex Myers
"Nobody Can Tell Me (TDOR)" music and lyrics by Ilona Tipp, copyright 2018 Missive Maven Music
Nobody can tell me who I am
You can't tell me how to be
It's up to me to decree my identity
Nobody can tell me who I am
Nobody can tell me how to walk
You can't tell me how to move
You can disapprove, but I will set my own groove
Nobody can tell me how to walk
Why you gotta be tellin' me
That I gotta be somebody
Somebody else to live free
Something's gotta change anyway
And I'm telling you right away
That change, it won't be me
Nobody can tell me what to wear
You can't dictate my style
How I dress, it is how I express myself
Nobody can tell me what to wear
Nobody can legislate my soul
Keep your laws off my self
I own my spirit and don't you come near it
Nobody can legislate my soul
Why you gotta be tellin' me
That I gotta be somebody
Somebody else to live free
Something's gotta change anyway
And I'm telling you plain as day
That change, it won't be me
Nobody can tell me who I am
You can't tell me how to be
It's up to me to decree my identity
Nobody can tell me who I am
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